“I eat the body!” A new OSR Weapons Race random table

I Eat the Body!

The “I search the body” random table is a staple of fantasy games, but a weird fantasy game needs something more, something else. Each part of the body has different effects on the adventurer turned cannibal.


When a player announces that her character eats the still beating heart of her victim, roll 1d4; this is what happens:

  1. You develop a second heart. The veins of your eyes burst and become permanently red; your Charisma-based rolls are made with a penalty of -2. From now on, when you gain a level, roll your new hit points with the next bigger die (a Fighter rolls d10, a Magic-User rolls d6 and so on).
  2. You suffer a myocardial microinfarction and you lose your next action. Roll all your Hit Dice again minus one (if you are level 4, roll 3 dice); if the result is less than your current hit points, that’s your new HP; if the total is greater, keep your current points.
  3. You lose control of your body. Anytime something important happens (encounters, mainly), you must save vs Paralysis of you will have a physical reaction that fits the situation in some way, accompanied by a mechanical penalization (miss a round, -1 to attack rolls, and so on.)
  4. You have a chronic change of heart. Whenever you need to remain silent or hidden (like during a Stealth roll or an Ambush round), you must save vs Magic; if you fail, you start laughing uncontrollably

Arms or Legs

When you are lost in a dark dungeon with nothing to eat, your buddy starts looking really tasty, right? Go ahead, roll 1d4 and see what happens:

  1. A phalanx, or a similar bone gets stuck in your throat. Save vs Death or die from suffocation.
  2. Your hit points are replenished.
  3. Your hit points are replenished. But. Save vs Poison or you will be infected with (horror fantasy) scurvy. After one day, make another save vs Poison, and if you fail, suffer d6 damage; roll again every eight hours until you either die or are cured. Eating a bunch of citruses means that you can skip the next saving throw, but you can only benefit from it once every 24 hours.
  4. You just ate cursed flesh. Now you’re cursed. At the most inopportune moment, your hand will act by itself, usually to your detriment (it’s up to the referee). On the bright side, your unarmed attacks never miss.


Even if you are not a zombie, a brain is a delicacy you won’t want to miss. Roll 1d4 and see:

  1. A strong migraine, you can’t make rolls or any exhaustive actions for the rest of the day. Also, your Intelligence is decreased by 1.
  2. Your Intelligence is increased by 1. You gain a one-time only spell slot, with one random spell (any!)
  3. Your Intelligence is increased by 1 but you have weird nightmares. And I mean weird! Each morning, save vs Magic, and if you fail, you spontaneously cast Summon. The entity it tries to summon will be of your same level.
  4. You develop immunity to brain diseases, dementia and mind-control effects, including magic, but you must consume human brains at least once every fortnight or your Intelligences is decreased by 1.


Eyes are tasty. They keep secret knowledge, they know stories, they have seen it all. What do you see? Roll 1d4 to find out:

  1. You can anticipate the movements of your enemies. For the rest of the day, you get a +2 bonus on your armor and +1 on your attacks.
  2. You see dead people. You see them all the time, they distract you, you can’t help it. All your rolls that require concentration are done at -1. You need a barber surgeon to perform eye surgery on you (removing your eyes and attaching new ones) to get rid of these visions.
  3. They say that the eyes are the windows of the soul, and some truth must be in that. You have gained one of the characteristics or some important knowledge from the owner of those eyes you just ate (referee’s choice).
  4. You can see in the dark. But in the light, you need to save vs Paralysis or be blinded until you get cover.


For some reason, I don’t know. Ask your players!

  1. You’re disgusting. Cha -1.
  2. Yeah, you are disgusting. Cha -1 and you smell funny. Your smell makes dogs attack you on sight.
  3. Oh, yeah. You are disgusting. Cha -1. You emanate an unpleasant aura and dogs and all kinds of beasts get away from you.
  4. Have I told you how disgusting you are? Cha -1. You develop a taste for it. You don’t recover hit points when you sleep if you didn’t eat viscera during that day (either animal or human).

More? Oh, sure. More!


Chaos Magick-User, Vagabond, Dork

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